story of the month! haven’t blogged in awhile but this story will more than make up for it. i shouldn’t have to blog for years after this story…..
so, everyday around 5 or 6 i walk a few blocks to where i park in the morning, get my car and drive it back to the agency. when i work late, which is most nights, it’s just nice to get in my car that’s in the parking lot and drive home rather than making the trek out there at 12 am. anyway, so i’m walking up the street where my car is parked and in the distance running down the street on the opposite side is a bum (through telling this story, i’ve been corrected and apparently the politically correct term is “hobo”). so this hobo is tearing down the street clumsily, tripping over himself, and at the same time looking back at the two bike cops gaining on him FAST! just to paint a better picture in your mind, it just stopped raining so everything is wet. it’s a one way street so there are some cars parked on my side of the street. the houses on both sides are 2 stories and look pretty ragged and old and have mini front lawns with ghetto metal fences around them. the hobo is about 5’8”-5’9”, shoulder length blond scraggly hair, and a sketchy looking beard. he’s wearing a white button-up short sleeve shirt that’s not buttoned exposing his beer belly. he’s got tanned, dirty-ass shorts on, bowed legs and some brown, old work boots with no socks.
so, he’s tearing down the street and the bike cops are on his ass. one of them is on the sidewalk, the other on the road. the cop on the sidewalk sort of catches up to him, dismounts off the side, and starts running after him. after a few strides he’s close, and grabs the hobos shirt. he tries to reel him in but the hobo is frantic and trying to break loose.
now, enter SUPERCOP.
the bike cop that was on the road is still on his bike and is seeing all this happen. so he stays on his bike and rides until he’s about parallel to the duo, a little behind them. he starts to turn towards them until he’s about 8-10 feet away or so. then “SUPERCOP” pulls his front brakes, gets ejected over his bars, and is now in the air en route to the other cop and hobo. and when i say over the bars, i mean straight as hell over the bars. not half-assed and over the sides. now, however you’re picturing this cops form in the air, it was 100 times better. his legs were almost straight and his arms were spread as if he was about to give a bear hug. it was sort of like any illustrations you’ve seen of wolverine about to mess someone up - example here. so, supercop is in the air towards the other cop and hobo and tackles them head on and cause the 3 to hit the ground. the hobo lands head first on the sidewalk, the sidewalk cop on top of him and SUPERCOP on top of both of them. the cops quickly scramble up, twist the hobos arms behind his back and slap some cuffs on him. the hobo is completely dazed and confused while a bit of blood starts to drip from his forehead where it hit the sidewalk.
this entire time, i’m watching this thing happen, mouth open, listening to ‘stepping out’ by joe jackson as the soundtrack. while they were getting up i pulled out my earphones and looked at the woman standing in front of me. i’m all “HOLY SHIT!” and she’s all “OH MY GOD!” a couple seconds later a 3 police cruisers pull up and they throw the hobo in one.
probably the CRAZIEST thing i’ve ever seen. i wonder how long that cop has been waiting to pull that move out. also, i wonder if that’s something they are taught or was that something he figured out on his own and perfected. anyway, craazy!